destiny

if you do not make friends with the unknowns, you are destined to live in fear and delusions...

meaning is overrated

right from the start (or near enough), this was a test... those who pay attention (or do a quick review) still have an opportunity for a passing grade...

profund

i was never this profound anywhere else...

so maybe i am not here either...

expectations

i am not going to be the person i am expected to be anymore

come to think of it...

...i don't think i ever was

existence

sometimes i wonder if it ever really mattered that i existed...

just a little bit ridiculous

to think there are at least a hundred bits of babbling thoughts dribbling through my head at any given second and i only take the moment to let any out every few weeks or so, or longer, even...

maybe i ought to mobile tweet...

blew a good one

three days forward, three days back, birthing memories that i lost track of the love that i still lack, sad, happy, not on the beaten track, like ghosts, the two who loved me most, almost, maybe, were born within six days and a year apart, like art, and all that's left, bereft, is the broken heart...

i may have been a genius but, i was not very smart...

momentary

i have no idea where i've been, except that i think i was here a minute ago... or was i here... narf...

nothing was here

perhaps it was a year without clever

where it all began

the messages to the people of the past (ghosts, perhaps, but living somewhere out of my particular known universe, so ghosts to me), the heart songs no one cares to hear anymore (like cherish is the word, sunshine of my life, or if it takes forever..., for example), the true love that never ends (you know, don't they know it's the end of the world and other rhetorical questions), but has nowhere to go when the inspiration (dream lover?), the person inspiring the heart songs (all i ever needed, was the one), no longer listens and worse, cuts off all contact, moves, and leaves no forwarding address (return to sender) as if i am some sort of pariah or evil beast that must be avoided at all costs (though i have no idea what the little drummer boy has to do with it, rum pa pa pum)... yes, the love never dies (see?... ghost), it only dissolves into emo lost in the manic madness of babble (except here, where the words that capture the agony of defeat and rejection and spiritual death is expressed in exquisite clarity in babbling brevity)... so where do i begin to tell the story of how great a love can be?... well certainly not in babbling brevity, sheeesh...

narf :)

tv

when i realize that that i often spend more time flipping through channels looking for something i want to watch on tv than actually watching anything on tv, i remember why i do not watch much tv...

at least not alone :)

what?

and still wanna party all the time party all the time party all the time and yet, still wondering wandering on my semi-quixotic quest for someone to love love love (with the obligatory shock value and babble just (just?... is there really any justice in this world?... never mind this distraction, get the point already) to keep us on our toes… and real… you can’t know it all, but you must…

time

the length of a moment is directly proportional to the degree of aloneness...

we can discuss the meaning of aloneness in another lecture.